'Sarah knew her new show horse was going to be a star. She hadn't seen any others that could perfect such a beautiful handstand'Like many others, I am impatient for the next show season to get started. My last competition was Royal Easter in April which seems an eternity ago (yes, yes, I know it was only a month ago but it feels like it has been a very long time!) I don't even know how I coped with not showing for the four years I was at university. Ah yes, I do....bar crawls and vodka shots.
Ummm...moving on. This impatience to get showing again has inspired me to come up with my own list of things to do during the long, cold, winter months. Feel free to share your own!
1) Start sending the local A&Ps emails, letters, text messages and carrier pigeons, hassling them to get their January 2011 schedule up online already. You've had at least a month to get the next show organised- what's taking you so long!
2) Spend hours in the paddock staring at your wild, hairy beast trying to remember what he looked like in his summer coat. Much more entertaining than staying inside and watching America's Next Top Model. Ignore the stares of non-showie horsey types and family members. Of course they wouldn't understand.
3) Spend some time in the kitchen concocting a new kind of show shine, then test it on your hapless equine. I wonder if a combination of olive oil, shoe polish, ginger and margarine would work....? If it doesn't, present it to your friends or partner and pretend it's a dessert you've invented.
4 ) It's very important to browse TradeMe during the boring winter months. There are so many fantastic winter projects for sale, how could you possibly resist? I recommend purchasing horses of the same colour, say bay, so that they all blend together and your partner can't tell whether you have bought any more equines when he peers out at the paddock. This will come in handy when you get fed up of being bucked off previously mentioned winter project and resort to throwing him out into the field until further notice.
5) Clip 'I love New Zealand Showing' into your horse's furry winter coat. Don't pay attention to the sniggers. They're just jealous and envy your superior showie knowledge.
6) Practice some new workout moves to impress your fellow showies with when you hit the show circuit again. Teaching your Park Hack to roll over, spin round or perform a leap into the air on command could really make you stand out from the crowd and will undoubtedly impress the judge. Of course, some of us have ultra-special horses that don't need any training and will execute such awesome moves without our intervention. Getting some practice in while out on hacks or at winter dressage shows never hurts though.
7) If it's raining outside, try mock-cantering around the living room, pretending that you have just won a title at Horse of the Year. Make your partner/children/family cheer and play some suitable music to make it extra authentic. You will appreciate the practice when you win a major prize in 2011 and have already perfected your lap of honour.
